Being half Irish, I can post this joke I've just been sent guilt free!
Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar & ordered three more.
The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it. Your pint would taste better if you bought one at a time."
Patrick replies, "Well now, I have two brodders, one is in America ; & de odder in Australia ; & here I am in Dublin . When we all left home, we promised dat we'd drink dis way to remember de days we all drank togedder." The barman admits that this is a nice custom & says no more.
Patrick becomes a regular customer & always drinks the same way; ordering three pints & drinking a sip out of each in turn, until they are finished. One day, he comes in & orders just two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice & fall silent. When he goes back to the bar for the second round,
The barman says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."
Patrick looks confused for a moment, then the penny drops & he starts to laugh. "Oh no," he says, "Bejesus, everyone is fine! Tis me, .................. I've quit drinking!"